When Hard Times Become Good Memories

A good friend just told us her husband is out of work. I know from experience that this is a difficult time for a family. For many years our income was very limited, the building of a nuclear plant in our area was discontinued with many jobs lost, including my husband’s. We were faced with unemployment or moving; we chose not to move for three years. Pat would get jobs here and there but it was not consistent. I started a word processing business in our home and many times when a customer came in the front door to pick up a resume, Pat would go out the back door to buy milk and bread.

Pat took a more active role in childcare and I spent more time on my business. It was difficult for me to give up some of the controlling aspects of parenting. I remember one morning the kids asked me if I was going to the school talent show and I hadn’t even known there was one in the planning. Before that particular life lesson I always wondered how a parent (read that FATHER) could possibly not be involved enough in a family to know what was going on with their children. It was a humbling moment.

We both became more involved at school and church. Our parish school hired both of us part time knowing that we were in financial trouble. I managed the learning center, working one-on-one with the children, teaching the parents how to help the children with the computers and scheduling volunteers. Pat worked in the lunchroom and on the playground and we got to know all the kids at the school. The staff was warm and accepting and we will always think of the time we spent at Blessed Sacrament with thankfulness and fond memories.

The most important was the time spent with our family. We started a list of thanks that hung in our kitchen. Whenever someone did something nice or when we were especially thankful for something it was written on the list. Sometimes we would find neighbors and friends had even put something on the list. It helped us focus on the good in our lives. I think I have that list somewhere – I will have to find it and post it here – it was a great list!

Even when Pat was working full time we didn’t celebrate holidays that florists and card stores created to make more money; but during that time even our anniversary was one we couldn’t afford. I remember going into a card store and picking out beautiful and expensive cards for each other, we read the cards and put them back on the shelf. We knew the message in the card was much more important than actually having a card to put in a drawer later.

We found ways to have fun that cost less. We had stopped going out for dinner months earlier but we still could go for an ice cream cone. Instead of movies we read books as a family; our favorite was the Little House series. Camping for a week was out but we still found a way to camp for one weekend. Rummage sales were in; shopping in stores was out. Spending time walking in the woods at Ringwood Forest in St. Charles, singing loudly about all the things we were thankful for – these are some of my best memories of that time.

It took us quite a few months to get back on secure financial ground. We moved to Saginaw where I found employment and I walked to work every day – I still did word processing in my home – sometimes working all night and then going to work in the morning. Pat went back to work on a more regular basis and we eventually had enough money to resume our former lifestyle. But we never forgot the important lessons we learned during that time.

I know we were just down on our luck – not destitute – not homeless – and we had enough skills to be able to pull ourselves out of the difficult time. It was a good experience for us as a family. I know that not everyone can make a bad experience into a good one - I am just very thankful that we could.